5/5
So I just took a trip to New York and the fall vibes be vibin, alright. It was a perfect time to experience the season out east because you really get a calm sense of change with the foliage turning red and orange. I was able to sip some coffee while eating a bagel and walk down central park while enjoying the scenery and not even subway muggings, unwelcoming local behavior and the urban smells of urine and garbage ruined it for me. You feel like you’re really a part of autumn whereas in the desert you don’t because cacti don’t turn orange and red. We just get less irate with cooler weather and drive less homicidally. So you can imagine my dismay when coming back after experiencing such cinematic scenery. Seasonal depression with a bit of tajin on the rim. I was a few days in when I was already getting the itch to change my environment up a bit to reclaim some of that lost euphoria. I tried going to Hobby Lobby after ingesting a couple of top class gummies and got kicked out after sniffing the autumnal scented candles and blasting classical music on a bluetooth speaker for 45 minutes without buying anything. And I thought this was America. Times have changed.
But I didn’t let that deter me. I was at a coffee shop with my yankees hat and a harry potter scarf wearing finger gloves sippin down some cappuccino like al pacino and scouring places around here to satiate my east coast needs when it hit me. Mt. Lemmon has a thing called altitude where all sorts of east coast lookin foliage thrives in spite of the desert rats below it. That would be perfect. I could take a day trip up there and take some selfies pretending I moved to the east coast to shake this depression. I found the Mt Lemmon General Store & Gift Shop. Being a huge fan of general stores all of my life, this caught my immediate attention. The website sold me right away with the tagline “Here you can find our hours, our location, our phone number and Fudge”. Foliage and fudge!? Slap my fanny and call me danny, I was as giddy as a karen at a manager expo. I gassed up the ol’ guzzler & headed up north blasting Toby Keith out the windows while enjoying the beautiful winding roads as the views turned from beige desert to mountain grass and coniferous dreams. I sneezed all the way up due to seasonal allergies and almost drove off several cliffsides but the thoughts of mountain fudge and enjoying coffee with my new mountain wife kept me focused.
I finally pulled off to the side of the road before reaching the store to put on my Carhartt beanie, flannel jacket and rugged yet affable east coast demeaner before walking in for some fudge.
I was instantly overwhelmed by the multitude of display stands & shelves filled to the brim with porcelain bowls, woven baskets, keychains, toiletries, canned goods and postcards. People were perusing about and the man at the counter to the left welcomed me in and without a beat, I had my shoulders high and my hands in my pocket while saying “yo, im here for the fudge, where’s the fudge at my guy?” and he pointed to the back. So I shuffled past the thin aisles of overweight people and found myself in utter ecstacy and delight when standing in front of the glowing glass display with rows of delicious fudge. Then I saw the little orange sign on the glass that said “no samples” with a sad face. Then I had a sad face because commitment without a test drive is a great fear of mine. But in the land of fudge, there are no mistakes. I asked the lady with the apron behind the counter “ayy, whats betta? The Peanut butter chocolate or cookies and cream” and she said “that’s like asking me to choose my favorite grand child” and I said “Wait, your kids are made of fudge? You got fudge kids, lady? Get outa here and quit bustin’ my ballisimos. That’s wild. I’ll take the rocky road less traveled ayyyyy get outa here”.
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